Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm just crazy horny about you
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
