you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
