hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
