I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think people are normalizing furries
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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