He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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