you would pick up someone in the library
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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