okay pat passed out under dana's car
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
