so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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