I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
