a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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