Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
