Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
