So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
please don't ironically join a cult
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