he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
