I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
