hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
