She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She even gives head with a lisp.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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