just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
