This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
