If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
