He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
