who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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