i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
