i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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