Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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