nut hugger
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
