yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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