Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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