respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
