I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
