If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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