from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
