wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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