P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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