I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
