i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
