He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
