He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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