we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
