Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just want nice things and good sex
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
