fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
