What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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