he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
