You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
