Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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