so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A+ Viking dick
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
