He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
