Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
