I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
