Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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