roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
