i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
