Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
